From the day each of us was born, our families, communities and culture have taught us in ways subtle and explicit how we ought to speak, look and act. What sort of behaviour and achievements will be rewarded. How to be happy. What we need. How ‘people like you’ should live and love. Some, but not all, of these messages are well meaning. However, obedient conformance seldom leads to a deeply satisfying and personally rewarding experience of life. All of us are vulnerable at times, to surrendering our own preferences, hopes, energies and dreams, to keeping quiet when we disagree, to not asking for what we want, to waiting for good things to happen, to holding back in professional and personal life. We all live smaller than we’re able, potentially heading for a future in which we can conform for one last time, sharing the top regret of the dying, which palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware tells us is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a live true to myself, not the life others expected of me”. In Swipe Right on Your Best Self, Eric Winters shares an antidote and encourages acts of defiance – choosing our own way. He describes the three human predicaments, that if neglected, inevitably undermine our ability to live, love and lead with the courage to fully be ourselves. Rather than simply trying harder, he describes a three phase strategy that targets the real root causes of our hesitancy to live each day with courageous authenticity. The first step is to attend to the foundations of boldly intentional living, our physiology. The second step is build emotionally intelligent mindsets necessary for daily courageous choices. The third step is to use techniques each day that assist us to choose to do more of what’s personally important and challenging - to swipe right on our best selves.
