Counterfeit Evian water salesman Hyatt Hilton was one of the founding fathers of a cult of self-styled immortals known as the Amaranthine Church of the One. Then the Amaranthines kicked Hyatt out of the church. Now he wants revenge and his engagement to Carmen Roman fits perfectly into the plan. Hyatt and Carmen mastermind an elaborate con game involving a big wedding, an abduction, human blood, "a literary agent" named Robbi Silvernail, and a television show called "Hard Camera."
Meanwhile, Joe Crow has left his girlfriend Laura Debrowski in Europe, gambled away all his money, traded in his Jaguar for a GTO, and taken up bodybuilding to improve his self image. Now he's being stalked by a female bodybuilder named Flowrean Peeche and harassed by Arling Biggle, the owner of the gym.
Axel Speeter, who thinks of himself as Carmen Roman's stepfather, is concerned about her choice of fiancee and hires the intrepid Crow to investigate. And so this ecclectic cast of characters make their different ways towards one unreal conclusion.