It all started in Balham. Tony Hawks and his friend Arthur Smith are at home watching the England football team play the little-known Eastern European state of Moldova on TV. The game fails to hold their interest, and, for no reason other than sheer boredom, the pair become involved in a pointless argument about how good Tony is at tennis.
The debate's conclusion is a bet - that Tony can't beat all eleven members of the Moldovan football team at tennis. As natural sportsmen, Arthur argues, they will beat Tony easily. And with the loser of the bet agreeing to strip naked on Balham High Road and sing the Moldovan national anthem, this one was too good to resist.
And so Tony found himself embarking on an extraordinary quest which would see him travel from England to Moldova, from Transnistria to Northern Ireland and eventually to Israel, in an attempt to get Moldovan football players on to the tennis court.
The ensuing unpredictable and often hilarious adventure sees him being taken in by Moldovan gypsies and overcome a kidnap attempt in Transnistria. It sees him smuggle his way on to the Moldovan National Team coach in Coleraine and witness (almost) divine intervention in the Holy Land.
