Wyndham-on-sea. Rainy season. Next Sunday.
Sally Cooper manages her uncle's caravan park. She's normally quite good at it, but this season there's a problem. The town council - feeling that the resort's image is being damaged by the strangeness of the occupants of its caravan parks - has promised a million pounds to Wyndham-on-sea's dullest park. If that million pounds isn't won, Sally's park will close. And her uncle won't be very pleased. So Sally is charged with dulling down the site from top to bottom.
Eighteen-year-old Teena Rama is 148.7% too beautiful - and gaining a percentage point every two days. Soon no one will be able to meet her without falling in love. Mr Landen has no brain. But he does have a tub of margarine between his ears. There is a link between these seemingly unrelated facts. Somewhere . . .