Friend of Faux

Men let you down. Your family forgives too much (or too little). Therapy is expensive. Booze is caloric. When the chips are down and you need someone to talk you through a crisis or celebrate one of life's minor victories, you need to know who will pick up the phone and who will let it go straight to voicemail. The former is a friend. The latter is . . . where it gets interesting. Friend or Faux will be a guide to helping the modern woman with the selection and cultivation of friends. Faux friends compliment your outfit because they hate it, flirt with your boyfriend when you're in the bathroom, steal your ideas at work, and pilfer your painkillers, all with a smile on their faces and a hearty dose of crocodile tears when called on it. This book will identify and define 80 different types of friends, from the true-blue to the truly diabolical. From the nether reaches of the workforce to the depths of the gym, from the bonds forged during the Peace Corps to the friend that has the good drugs, Friend or Faux will painstakingly examine the various types of friend-or foe-in the modern world. Written in a sardonic, humorous style, the profiles will describe in rich detail the appearance, mannerisms, speech patterns, place of origin, and food, style, and musical preferences of each friend or faux archetype. In addition, each description will be outfitted with a "friend threat-level chart": GREEN - The no-risk friend (A good, solid, legit friend)YELLOW - The moderate-risk friend (50% meh, 50% shady) ORANGE - The high-risk friend (proceed with extreme caution) RED - The severe-risk friend (get thee behind me, bitch!) The overall message of Friend or Faux will be consistent, and clear: Friends are like shoes-choose them wisely.