If you've ever expressed even the slightest bit of dissatisfaction with the current state of your life, you've inevitably gotten the response, 'Have you tried meditation? Exercise? Joining a cult? Joining an exercise cult?' And a variety of other helpful suggestions. This book explores these topics with intellectual essays like 'I'm Moving to the Woods to Live in a Nightmare Shack' and instructional guides such as 'Are You Hungry or Are You Just Horny?' If you learn anything from this book, it should be that a $72 artisanal hand-blown glass cup isn't going to change your life.