Why do people, myself included, find marriage so difficult? Why is it so hard to simply be nice to each other? And why do less than half of marriages stay the distance? Surely a happy marriage for a normally adjusted couple is a simple matter of give-and-take, some patience, tolerance and just trying to be cheerful as often as possible; and there is certainly no shortage of books providing relationship advice that can help us on these matters. Somehow, we all know that restraining our tempers and behaving respectfully is beneficial - we have that knowledge on a purely rational level - yet putting it into practice can be a mystery. No matter what our views on how to behave, many of us are left marvelling at our lack of self-control.
The power of Buddhist teachings is that they address more than surface knowledge, and guide us to delve deeper into our psyches. Through mindfulness and ever-growing self-awareness, they help us to become more familiar with the workings of our minds and bodies, more aware of the thoughts and beliefs that drive our automatic reactions. Assisted to be calm and self-aware for more of the day, we begin to see our behaviour more clearly than if we were stressed out on our usual autodrive. The teachings require us to be emotionally honest with ourselves about what is really going on and they require us to develop a healthy obsession with ethics and non-harming.
