Beginning at the age of 12‚ Jennifer Storm asked herself these questions many times after waking from alcohol-induced blackouts. During her teens and early twenties‚ Storm turned to alcohol to deal with the traumas in her life. In addition to alcohol‚ she also experimented with drugs‚ and eventually began using crack to deal with the deep black hole of sadness‚ loss‚ and unworthiness that she felt inside herself.
That is‚ until she awoke in a hospital psych ward and saw bandages on her wrists. 'The doctor came in and said I was a very lucky girl to be alive‚' she explains‚ 'and for the first time in my life‚ I believed it.' She agreed to transfer to a rehabilitation center‚ though she wondered how life would be without alcohol and drugs.'Even as I asked myself this question‚ I quietly just knew I would never need them again. That inherent knowledge gave me a greater sense of peace than I had ever felt before. It was intoxicating in a whole new way.'