Utterly Unauthorised and Totally Exploitative.
The Hogwash School of Wizards is the most famous school in the wizarding world and Barry Trotter is its most famous pupil. It's been that way ever since J.G. Rollins' Barry Trotter and the Philosopher's Scone (released in the USA as Barry Trotter and the Magic Biscuit) broke publishing records worldwide.
So important has Barry become to the school's reputation - not to say finances - that it has been agreed that he can stay at Hogwash for as long as he likes. Barry Trotter is 22.
Life is good for the perpetual student. He doesn't have to do any work and the wizard pipe he bought in London's Catty Corner lends him the air of mystery and maturity required to impress girls (well, Muddle girls . . . well, stupid ones).
But now disaster looms. The movie Barry Trotter and the Inevitable Attempt to Cash-In has gone into final production and the marketing machine at Wagner Bros. is going into overdrive. Hogwash is going to be submerged under a tidal of souvenir-crazed Muddle fans, torn apart and sold on eBuy, stone by mossy stone.